Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

Ninjas live for the night. Why would they schedule a parade at 10am?

Obsession, For Cooper

Is that fur in the corner? Looks like fur. What is it? Cotton candy is pink, right?

It's not a bear.... A very small bear? No. In the name of all that is holy, WHAT IS THAT THING?

Sure not a duck. Ducks have feathers. It's being pretty quiet for a duck. No it's not a duck. What am I thinking?

I feel compelled to get closer. Yet I sit here, like a photo, unable to move a muscle.

Light Sabers Scare Me

Light sabers don't kill people. Sith Lords kill people.

Two Cats Window Gazing

Construction workers eat lunch in the neighbor's yard.

Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris Lose To My Grandpa Ernie

Sometimes I wish there was a way to thank Chuck Norris for all he's done for me.

Watch close, and you'll see they cut to the most badassest cat ever. Moxie said this was my great grandpa Ernie Mowser. He's said to be an uncredited extra in many movies. In this one he's really good just after the music starts and they give him a prop to bat around and look cool with.

Grandpa Ernie was at the peak of his cameo career in Martial Arts films. After that he did mostly voice over work for cereal commercials (remember the ill-fated 'Capt'n Crunch Cat Berries'?). I don't but Moxie says they were delish. She says he was best known as the spokescat for American Standard Toilets during the early 1970s. My family's always had a good relationship with ceramic bowls.

Quick Joke

Okay, how about a joke: A lion walks into an AA meeting, walks up to the bar and he says to the bartender, uhm, he said something... wait, is the joke already over?

Oh, cause the... oh, that's funny. THAT's funny. Cause why would the bartender even be at an AA meeting where no one appreciates his talents?

Sober people are terrible tippers. There's no margins on ginger ale.

iLiner

Let me break it down for you: loads of dudes wear eyeliner - David Bowie, Billy Mack, John Cameron Mitchell. How can you call yourself an uber-masculine glam rocker without sporting the faux lids and lashes?

Edmund Trapped!

Mura wrote me in monday's blog comments about an awful thing. Nature turned it's wicked sense of humor against Hollywood. A sequel may hang in the balance.

Edmund, the nasty little boy from the Chronicles of Narnia movie is trapped in Beirut, threatened on all sides by all sides! Irony of ironies, it's exactly like a movie. But what can I do? He must be bored.

Maybe I could host a fundraising drive to send him a... no, that's not going to work. The PS3 isn't out until next year. Damn. All out of ideas.

Ask A Felion: Sequels (First Question From Fans!)

Krylie S. writes: "I liked the first Police Academy MUCH more than later ones. Who was your favorite character? And where do you stand on sequels? BTW, you're really cute."

Cooper responds: Okay, my take on sequels:
Terminator: YES.
Superman: NO.
Spiderman: YES.
Planet of the Apes: Absolutely - how can you go wrong?
The Godfather: sure, why not?
Star Trek: YES.
Star Wars: two sequels and that's my limit.
007: YES.
The Bourne Series: YES, YES, YES! OH GOD YES! DO ME JASON BOURNE! Just kidding, I'm not gay but if I was...
The Matrix: YES.
Chronicles of Narnia: YES.
Annie Hall: wasn't funny enough.
Clerks: YES, only if Kevin Smith directs.
Fletch: YES, only if Kevin Smith directs.
Airplane!: NO.
Indiana Jones: OH YEAH.
Aquaman: YES! YES! YES!

My favorite character from Police Academy: You can't beat a guy who makes funny sounds with his mouth.

Doublemoron

Bo's visit is still the big news around here. Moxie's heart hasn't stopped palpatating.

Bo knows I'm a Catninja. I know secret moves that will keep him up at night worrying about small menacing furry creatures with claws. Like ME. Psycho human clipped my nails this morning. He's always getting in my business.

Hard to be a Domesticated Catninja. Sounds like a doublemoron.

Hey... doublemoron isn't even a word, is it? I just made it up! Doublemoron! I'm a genius. Gotta run tell Moxie.

Bo Schmo

So Bo came back yesterday. He's the ninja dog that can walk through walls and steal the hearts of humans. He doesn't scare me. I looked into his soul and saw that he was good.

Moxie wet her fur. Ha, Ha.

Catninja

I thought about it all yeseterday, between naps. I'm a capital-N Ninja, or a capital C... Catninja. Ha that's awesome. Cat-Nin-Ja! Hey I just made up a word. Oh my god, I am SO awesome AND cool. Moxie's never made up a word. Have you? Then I'm the first! Ohhhh Yeah! If she wasn't right here, I'd run tell her.